Nathan ~ the man who most changed my life

Nathan.

To say he changed my life is an understatement.

  He shattered it and then helped me put it back together again.

It was thirty years ago tonight that Nathan came into my life and it hasn't been the same since. And I count that as a VERY good thing.

 

You see, I was single & selfish.  I had no clue I was even selfish.  My parents lived five hours away.  I had married at 20 & divorced at 22.  My brother and I had been roommates but I had just moved into an apartment on my own.  I only had myself to care for & about so it didn't seem selfish.  I worked out a couple hours every evening (body building) then I went to my favorite bar, slept, got up & went to my good paying, tolerable job; repeat.  I drank entirely too much and all the men I dated were from "my" bar. 

My life wasn't unsatisfactory to me but it was meaningless.

And then, one night, my contraceptive failed and somehow I KNEW the next day that I was pregnant.  Back then you had to wait a couple of weeks to take a pregnancy test at the doctor's office.

So I waited. 

Yep. 

Pregnant.

If you've been there or ever had a scare & thought you might be there, you know all the things that ran through my head.  Yet I knew from the onset that I would have this baby.  And that I would have to change some things in my life.

I just had no idea how many things.

Flash forward to THAT day.  The time exactly 30 years ago now when I'd been having minute-and-a-half contractions for two hours already.  My mother was there.  My best friend was there.  But no one else.  You see, when you're living a shallow life only for yourself, you find yourself very much alone in times of need. 

12 more hours of hard labor & a million expletives later, I met Nathan.  As he lay in the warming bassinet getting cleaned up, he just stared at me. 

Quietly stared. 

And that was it.

I was a goner.

I was hooked forever and, whether he knows it or not, he is still somehow holding my heart in his hand.

 

And I realized over-night how much my mother knew and what I had put her through.   I like to say her intelligence tripled that night but we all know that it was just my awareness of motherhood that changed.  You see, despite my unwitting selfishness, my parents were ALWAYS there for me. I knew that moment for the first time that I had the best parents on the planet. And that I wanted to be that kind of Mom.

Nathan and I lived with my folks until he was two and then we moved back to Dallas where I got to experience the joys & pains of single motherhood.  I remarried.  I had a beautiful daughter who also manages to hold my heart in her hand.  I divorced.  I remarried (you can read all about that story here).

But I never overcame what happened to me 30 years ago. 
Nor do I want to.
You see, Nathan was born that day.
And in addition, a mother was born.
And she is much better off than she was before - despite the fact that her heart has to live now in two different places with her children.
I thank God daily that I had my kids.
That He broke into my life and reduced (unfortunately, not removed LOL) the selfishness and replaced it with a love that I could not even fathom before.

Nathan.

My first-born.

The first "love of my life".

Happy Birthday Son.

I love you more than you could know.

horizontal surfaces are for . . .

ART PROJECTS!!!!

the studio workspace

the "art bar"

the breakfast table

the dining room table

While I'm waiting for wax to melt in the studio and for the temperature to warm-up so I can go outside to do some sanding and for paint to dry, I thought I'd share a little story about my sweet husband, Patrick with you.

When we built the house we owned last, we included my first studio which I absolutely LOVED.
One day Patrick came home from work to see every horizontal surface covered with plates that I had collaged for a Christmas artisan fair.  And he said "I thought when we built you a studio, this wouldn't happen any more."  Well, of course, I just laughed and said something about that wasn't in a contract, was it?

Art projects just expand to fill the space alotted and then they overflow. Or maybe explode is a better word for it.  I am currently working on some large pieces that just don't fit anywhere but where we should do our eating.  But this is "picked up" -- I wish I'd taken the pictures a few days ago when one of the sofas and the ottoman were covered too. 

(oh, there's not a picture of the bar becuz it's covered in Halloween decorations, not art projects -- I took them down but I never got them boxed up LOL)

Have a fun day arting everyone.

Squeezing in some Jewelry Time

It's been a crazy busy summer but I've managed to squeeze in a little jewelry making time.

Mostly it just resulted in what looked like an explosion on my workspace.

But I managed to try some new wire work (first picture) and to make some charm necklaces.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

the pinks & oranges in the piece I made for Mary.

Loved it so much that I'm working on some pieces for myself.

And the blues & greens of Carmen's necklace are some of my favorites ~

so calming & don't we all need some of that?

They remind me a little of my vacation.

Yes! We also squeezed in a small vacation ~

a visit to see our daughter in Denver.

It was not long enough ~ I need LOTS more Dani time.

Have you found time to make anything this busy crazy summer?

what I'm thankful for

I’m thankful for forgiveness, grace and mercy becuz I am in dire need of them all.

I pray that I will practice forgiveness, grace and mercy with others.

I'm thankful for my mistakes as they've made me who I am and I like who I am now.

I pray that others will learn to forgive themselves, live without regret, and, most of all, like themselves!

I’m thankful that I live in this time, in this country where women have the same freedoms as men to vote, to speak, to pursue their dreams.

I pray that this will continue here and that all people everywhere will be free from oppression & repression.

I’m thankful for the constitution that guarantees my right to practice my religion.  Or not.   Where I am guaranteed the right to speak my mind, to protest my government, to assemble.

I pray that we will remember the price paid for those freedoms and value them accordingly, that all people everywhere will have these same freedoms.

I’m thankful for my parents, Uni & Bill Ball, who not only taught me the rules but taught me to love without condition, to think for myself, to value the thoughts of others, to have compassion for those less fortunate, to appreciate the differences – not to mock them.

I pray that I might be a loving parent, spouse and friend as modeled by them; that I will value what makes people different from me and not try to force them into a mold.

I’m thankful for my husband, Patrick Schoenfeldt, who loves me, not inspite of all my weirdness but becuz of it, who tells me I’m beautiful so often that I believe him, who knows my dreams and works toward them with me, who inspires me to be loving, who understands that domesticity is not as important as passion.  (If you want to know more you can read the blog posts about how he saved our marriage here)

I pray that I will love him as well as he loves me and that he will always be here with me.

I’m thankful for my children, Nathan Opdyke and Dani Turner, who give me so much joy, who actually like to spend time with me, who are affectionate and smart and kind and good friends to their friends; that I can see myself in them yet see how different they are from me and from each other (tho this took me some time to see).

I pray that they can learn from my mistakes, that they will know the love I’ve known, that they will have all they need and then some, that they KNOW they are loved beyond measure.

I’m thankful for my home that is a haven from the craziness of the world, that’s cooler than the summers and warmer than the winters, that is often filled with family & friends, fun & laughter.

I pray that people everywhere will have a safe haven, a place to weather storms; that they can too be surrounded by those they love.

I’m thankful for art – both in the big sense of the word and that I am pulled to do it; that I now have time & space to do it; that it’s brought me in contact with other creative people who contribute so much to my life on so many levels.

I pray that I will never cease to have new creative ideas and the time to try them.  And that people will “get” it and be willing to pay for it.  J

I’m thankful for work for both Patrick and myself; that Patrick loves architecture & gets to practice it at a firm that actually has work; that I’m good at accounting & that in these tough times I am able to pick-n-choose between assignments; that I don’t have to do it 60 hours a week any more (see the previous section).

I pray that we will always be able to do what we love and know that that is more valuable than money.

I’m thankful for friends, the ones in-person and the ones on-line who I’ve never met up close; for all they contribute to my life and my art; for the support they’ve given me and the times they’ve set me straight.

I pray that I will be a good friend, honest, loyal and giving.

I’m thankful for Facebook & Blogger where I’ve reconnected with old friends, met new art friends and been able to get to know two younger cousins.  I’m also thankful that I can hide, unfriend, block or ‘mark as spam’ those who only contribute negativity.

I pray that I will be a positive contribution to the online world and appreciate the differences in our great, vast world.

I’m thankful for my mind.

I pray that I use it well and it lasts as long as my body – or longer.

I’m thankful for Diet Coke™, margaritas and dark chocolate (tho not margaritas with dark chocolate).

I pray that I can learn to exercise moderation.

I’m thankful for high heels.

nuff said  J

I hope you have a wonderful day with family, friends and food

filled with laughter and memories

and that your grattitude is known by all

Happy Halloween

I can't believe it's been over a month since I was here ~

I'll blame it on work tho I haven't done any since the filing deadline on 10/17!

I've been teaching some beeswax classes yet
struggling with the pieces I've been working on.

Don't you just hate it when your great idea just won't become a great piece of art?

So I put the art aside and started playing with a few Halloween projects ~

I started this tag book 2 years ago (yes, I'm slow at doing a lot of things)

and I made a couple of charm bracelets ~

one for me and one to put on Etsy

and the last project I've been working on is altering this fabulous book
(you really have to check out this line of books ~ they're full of vintage images

and stories and are perfect for to use in lieu of scrapbooking.
I've used the Christmas one & the Love one.  I have the boy & girl ones
for that day when I figure out how to quit being so slow at everything.  LOL)

Have a happy Halloween
or a scary one ~ whichever you prefer

XXVIII

lazer transfer on encaustic

Happy Birthday Nate!

Not my usual style, huh? 

It's my son's birthday gift so I did something I think he'll enjoy.

I have been truly blessed in the kid department.  Nathan and I have a great bond.  You see, for awhile it was just the two of us - I was single when I had him.  And I think that's why he never went thru that phase of acting like he didn't know me or not saying he loved me.



Sorry about the quality here - I had real camera issues Saturday
(maybe it was really operator error)



Like his mom & sister, he's brilliant (hehe).  Math is just intuitive to him - he used to be my walking calculator (one time when he wasn't around, I asked Dani a math question and she indignantly replied, "I'm not Nate you know"!) and he picks up a lot of info by osmosis.  He's creative, a hard-worker and a good friend, quite charming & good looking.  And he is the most laid back person I have ever met!  Yet when he was forced to sit still in the hospital last year he couldn't stand it.

In some ways he's a lot like me.  So is my daughter.  And yet they're nothing alike.  Funny about that with kids.  And I've made the mistake of thinking I know what's going on with them becuz they're so much like me.  NOT!!

You give birth to these beautiful babies, you watch them grow and see their joys and struggles, you see yourself in them yet you see that they're totally their own persons, and you spend your life wondering at them, loving them, learning about them.  They come from you and reflect you and yet they are not you.  And they make you you.

Happy Birthday Nate.  I love you. 

2 New Blogs

Just wanted to share with you a couple of new blogs from my daughter and her friends.

TABLE FOR TWO

"more opinions than we know what to do with"

is a dining blog by my daughter, Dani, and one of her two besties, Katelyn.

(Katelyn is the one who took our wonderful anniversary photos as well as the photo I used in Dani's birthday art.)

I'm telling you, reading that blog is just like listening to them talk!!

Photo by Katelyn

BRITTANY RAEANN ART

is an art blog by my daughter's other bestie, Brittany

and her first post is about a piece she bought from me!!

These young women mean a lot to me - I've known them for so long, watching them grow from pre-teens to young adults discovering their own passions.  Well, one of them I've known for a lot longer - hehe.  Anyway, thanks for helping me support them in their cretive endeavors ~ Sherry

Blue

I've noticed lately that nobody's reading my blog . . .

could it be cuz nobody's posting to it?

hehe

I have been so neglectful lately of everything -

including the things that matter most to me

family

friends

art

I am so sorry for not posting or reading your blogs regularly -

in six weeks I should be back to normal.

Which we all know isn't all that normal  *WINK*

I made the piece above, BLUE, over a couple weeks

by dabbling a little every nite - and I mean a little.

Patrick dropped it off for

MONEY TALKS, ART WALKS

Maybe we'll see you there Saturday nite?

ps ~ since some have asked, I plan to get brave and post about the art I wrote about in my last post soon - how I did them, full size pictures, etc.  And, they did not get into the OKLAHOMA FRIENDLY show.  They had 785 pieces submitted and chose only 20%.  Guess that makes the rejection easier to handle. 

Joyful 2011

While we know so many have had setbacks and  even loss the last few years,
our wish is that 2011 will bring you peace and joy, love and friendship,
laughter and great memories no matter what your circumstances.   

We celebrated our fifteenth anniversary in December and had photos taken to commemorate. We both agree that while last year wasn't the easiest in some ways,

it was the best year of married life yet and we hope to top it this year!!

Photo by Katelyn Swanson

Our wish for you is that 2011 will bring you joy in whatever you endeavor to do ~

Sherry & Patrick

************************************

All the way back in early December when I made the heARTfelt gifts, I made this collage just so I could use it on my Christmas cards. HA!!!  Then, when we decided to have some photos taken for our 15th anniversary, I decided I'd use both in New Years cards.  Then sick. Then tax season. blah. blah. blah.  You've heard it before.  Well, I finally mailed the cards yesterday so I thought I'd share them with you as well. 

I truly do wish the very best for all of you.  Thank you for joining me on this art journey, even when I don't post regularly.  I hope you know how much it means to me to have this community.

Thank you ~ and have a Joyful 2011 ~ Sherry

Dani

a tree called life

tree image courtesy of Katelyn Swanson

(click here to see her photos on facebook or here to see her blog)

title courtesy of ee cummings

My baby girl, Dani, turned 23 last Friday.  Lately she's been into trees and ee cummings so I made this collage for her using a photo taken by one of her closest friends (I did a gel transfer).  I'm finally giving it to her tonite so I think it's safe to have this post publish while we're out to dinner.

Dani is extremely smart, kind, driven, fun, clever, hard-working, creative, a good friend, a loving daughter and beautiful - actually, exotic is probably a good word to describe her beauty.  I am so proud to know her and constantly amazed that she actually came from me!!!  In December, she graduated summa cum laude in humanities from the University of Central Oklahoma and she's going to continue growing into a wonderful woman and I can't wait to see everything that entails.

I love you Dani.

ps -  the birthday dinner was great - here's a picture of Dani tonite wearing the charm bracelet/necklace I made

15 Years

Patrick and I are celebrating our

15th Anniversary!!!!

so far, year 15 has been the very best

but I think we're gonna try to top it next year.

I love you Patrick.

ps - not long after this photo was taken, the tablecloth caught on fire!!

THE great debate

Do you call it dressing or stuffing?

Do you put it in the bird or bake it in a pan?

And, most importantly, white bread or cornbread?

Yesterday I made three batches of sweet cornbread cooked in bacon grease. 

Today I cut it up and mixed it with lots of melted butter, sauted red onions,

chopped jalepenos, chicken stock and spices.  Right now it's baking in a covered pan -

later I'll remove the cover so the edges can get crispy.

It is easily my favorite part of the Thanksgiving feast.

My family is from Michigan and I was raised on white bread stuffing which I also love;

once when my son was young he called it white boy dressing. 

My brother still makes it with the wonderful addition of sausage -

you can't go wrong with pork products if you ask me. 

However you make it, and even if you don't (tho why wouldn't you?  hehe)

enjoy your feast with your family and friends today.

And thank you for sharing part of your day with me ~ Sherry

Night Sky

This is a piece that my son and I created together. 

It's taken me a few weeks to do my part cuz life has been
crazy hectic for absolutely no known reason!

Does this ever happen to you?  You're rushing around all day and exhausted at night. 

Then you look at your to-do list and you can't cross anything off?

Well, that's where I've been for awhile now.

Anyway, here's how we created Night Sky:

Nate sprayed some of his paint onto water and dipped in a canvas

(don't you love how the heart just showed up?):

Then I sanded it to remove some loose paint globs and added gel pen:

Next came washes of various iridescent blues:

And I finished it off by adding some more depth to the outer edges with golden acrylics:

When Nate and I collaborate on a piece, we mark it Pashnada

on the front and then we both sign the back of the canvas.

Well, now I really do have stuff to do - I actually cook a lot for Thanksgiving (I know, don't die of shock).  We moved into our new home the week before Thanksgiving last year so we didn't do much here during the holiday season.  This year we're having a couple of functions so we have to start putting up the Christmas decorations immediately after Thanksgiving.  And boy, do I have a LOT of Christmas decorations to put up.

So all of that is my way of saying I might not see you for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, have a happy, relaxing time with your family and/or friends

and a blessed time remembering all the good that we enjoy even during hard times.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Gratitude

Thirteen years ago, I read a book about getting what you wanted out of life thru the use of all sorts of visualization techniques in all sorts of journals.  At the time I was working full time with two kids under 15 so I decided that if I did everything she suggested I wouldn't have time to pee let alone become a highly respected artist.  But I did take one idea away from the book - keeping a gratitude journal.

And that gratitude journal changed my life.  It sounds a little melodramatic, but it's true.  It changed my relationships with my family because I was focusing on all the good instead of the day-to-day - and cuz I was no longer complaining about my job in every conversation.  And it changed my relationship with God because I realized if I was thankful, I must have someone to thank. 

I made up pretty little journals and gave them to friends.  I gave simple little books to everyone in my family and to everyone in my women's group from church.  I don't know if anyone ever used them or if using them changed their lives.  I just know how important it was to me.

After reading a friend's blog this morning about things she's thankful for, I wondered where my gratitude journal was.  It was right in front of me but the fact that I wondered let me know that it had been far too long since I'd written in it.  Sure enough, two years.

Life is hard and times are tough for most of us much of the time yet I still have so much to be thankful for.  It's human nature to talk negatively more than positively as anyone who deals with the public can tell you - or anyone who's turned on the TV prior to the elections. And I'm no different - when I don't spend enough time reflecting on the good, I lack a certain graciousness in my speech and actions. 

So it's definitely time to write about all I'm grateful for:

my husband

my kids

my parents

my home

good friends

time to do my art

steady contract work the last two years

getting almost out of debt

the blogosphere

etc, etc, etc.....................

(the picture of my family is an oldie - it's hard to get everyone together at the same time these days)

I get to play with beeswax - YEA!!!

I finally finished picking up the pile in the studio and my "must-do" sewing (and can I say, the sewing area of my studio is great) so today and tomorrow I get to work in my studio.

I've already pulled out the beeswax tub and I'm ready to get going on the two collages I've been working on since the beginning of tax season. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow I'll have some completed pieces to show you.

I also will be writing a post about a great little store I found here in OKC.

Oh, and it's my wonderful husband's birthday so I have a few errands to run. I love birthdays.

The kids celebrated Patrick's birthday and Mothers' Day with us Sunday by taking us to a movie and making dinner for us and my parents. It was one of the best Mothers' Days ever. Actually, it was a great weekend - relaxing & productive at the same time.

Guess I'm kinda rambling - I better go get to "work" ~ Sherry



(this is an ATC I made a long time ago - I don't like to do a post without a picture!!)

A New Day

First, our son Nate is home from the hospital.
Many, many thanks to everyone who commented, emailed, prayed and just helped.
I don't think there's anything more scary and emotionally draining than when your child goes thru something like this - even when he's an adult.

I praise God for this good outcome and for all our good friends.

Next, still haven't finished any art projects. Okay, I admit it, I haven't done one thing on my TO-DO list tax season ended except read. And that has been a lot of fun.

Hopefully I'll get the pile cleaned up in my studio today and maybe I'll even finish the two pieces I've dabbled at off-n-on this tax season.
Or maybe not. No promises.
I think I'm going to go read a bunch of art blogs before I start working in here. That's bound to give me lots of ideas.

Thanks for continuing to check in - I hope I'm back to "normal" soon ~ Sherry

These are the photos I intended to post Monday before the phone call came - just did a little planting on the back porch of our new house. I think I'm going to leave the chair on the right rusty looking but I definitely have to clean up the rocker on the left.

There is still so much to do since the move! Does it ever end?

Our Son, Nate

After a week of recovering from tax season, I was determined to get up yesterday, blog, clean the pile in the studio, and work on some book art & partially completed collages. That all changed with a phone call from our son Nate around 10:30 a.m.

About 3:30 yesterday morning, Nate woke up in severe pain. Around 6 a.m. he went to the hospital near his house and around 10:30 he was transferred to OU Medical Center becuz in addition to the pain, they found some dark spots in an ultra-sound.

Because he had no swelling and the pain hadn’t been ongoing, late yesterday at OU they determined that in all liklihood Nate has two different things going on – the infection that caused the pain that brought him to the hospital (which they’re treating with mega-doses of antibiotics) and the dark spots in his sonogram & c.t.

Becuz of the anomalies they did a lot of research regarding the dark spots as they might be related his Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia and are now fairly certain it is NOT cancer and MAY be treatable with an adjustment of the prednisone he takes for his CAH. They haven’t ruled out doing a biopsy but may send him home as early as tomorrow with antibiotics & adjusted regular meds, then perform serial scans to see if the dark spots are reducing in size. Obviously, we’re hoping for the second! The antibiotics have worked enough that he hasn’t had any pain meds since 6 a.m. and is griping that the IV stint hurts more than the other!

I know several of y’all are already praying about this and I just want to thank you. I’ll let you all know when I know more ~ Sherry

19 Years

I love you Patrick.

Okay, I admit it, I love my hair stylist

For those of you who don't know me personally, I am one of those women who changes her hair ALL THE TIME. It's not that I'm never satisfied - it's that I like change. And if I don't like my new do, I know it will always grow back! I have been coloring my hair since my junior year in high school and have had every color except black. My hair has been every length from my bra-strap to maybe 1 inch! And here's the latest little asymmetrical number with blond and RED highlights:

Look how happy I am!!! :)

I am absolutely in LOVE with the guy who does my hair now - Sean at the Velvet Monkey in the Plaza District in OKC. He GETS me! And every time I leave, I FEEL prettier than the last time I left there. If this keeps up, I may end up with a seriously overblown ego - haha!

Thank goodness I have a husband who GETS me too. My hair sessions probably cost 15 times what his do but he likes how happy I am and he thinks I'm hot so he agrees it's money well spent. Of course this is not something I do when money is tight - when I was broke I did my own haircolor and got my hair cut at the cheap places. And boy have I had some disasters! YIKES!!! Which makes me appreciate this all the more now ~ Sherry

Transparency

A few years ago, while working on a round robin tag book project called SEE ME, I sent an email out to everyone I knew asking them to describe me. Now I have to admit that the people who didn't like me much didn't answer. But otherwise the number one response was TRANSPARENT and I do try to be that. Now, don't get me wrong - everyone doesn't know everything. As a matter of fact, I don't think any one person knows it ALL, though my husband and my BFF come close. But I want to be real with those around me - if you're gonna love me, it's not gonna be cuz you only know the good parts.

With that in mind, here's a little more about me:

I am no Mother Theresa.
And I am no Martha Stewart.

I think I do a good job of loving my kids but baking for birthdays or Christmas? HA!! Why do that when there are so many local bakeries that need my financial support?

I'm very organized as an accountant but getting everything else done in a timely manner? HA!! Where's the mystery in life if it all goes according to plan?

And cleaning? What a joke!! I can't get the FUN stuff done let alone the stuff I hate. So you're gonna have to ignore dust bunnies at my house (I told my husband that I was hoping the dust would get thick enough to look like snow but it hadn't so I WILL dust before Christmas dinner).

So when I read this blog post, I had to pass it along: BEING REALLY REAL

Have a REAL new year. Remember, perfectionism can be both irritating and BORING ~ Sherry