Sunday, June 21, 2009

More Thoughts on Father's Day

As I wrote my earlier post, I thought about the other father in my life - my husband. Technically, Patrick isn't the father of my kids - they have a dad that they love and that loves them. Patrick actually has what I consider to be a more difficult job - all the fears and work and joys and responsibilities of being a father without the actual position. He's been part of their lives for 18 years. He raised them, provided for them, prays for them, loves them with all his heart - all the while knowing they have a dad that isn't him.

They love him too. They appreciate his generosity. They know that he loves me and that I love & need him. Nate somehow inherited his weird sense of humor and his love of football. Dani makes astute comments on buildings that she could only have learned from being around an architect her whole life. They are very much his children.

I think it took them awhile to understand that they could love their dad and love their step-dad without it saying something bad about one and/or the other. But Dani and Nate are young adults now and able to see all three of their parents in a different way - as people with both good and not-so-good qualities who did their best to love them.

I know that any hope I have of being the kind of parent I want to be, as the kind of parent I had, is only because of the love and sacrifice of this man. He may not be their "Dad" but it is only because he is such a good father and husband that I stand a chance at being a good mother.

Here they are today:

Here I am with my dad today:

Thank you to both the fathers in my life ~ Sherry


Bill Ball said...

Thanks Sherry. I love you. Dad

Roz said...

What a beautiful tribute to Patrick.